When you start doing things that are truly in alignment with what your true self wants, what your soul wants, you flourish and life becomes a lot easier.

Introverts can feel ostracised in an environment where we feel like we have to be outgoing. Forcing conversation is exhausting for an introvert, especially around new people. We like to have time to think and craft exactly what we say.

Shyness is born from a lack of self-confidence and fear of ridicule. In my case it latched on to the young boy who didn’t have confidence in himself or his abilities after being belittled by his first-grade teacher. Introversion, on the other hand, is a tremendous gift that allows for inquisitive curiosity about life. Introversion created in this young boy a fascination with life, nature, science, creativity, and imagination.

Coming out of the closet was one of the most liberating things I’ve done in my life. All the worry, concern, anxiety, all that mental chatter was gone. I didn’t have to carry a secret on my shoulder anymore. Fear, doubt, shame, and worry was suddenly replaced with love and pride.

Stop trying to find yourself. You’ve had it all along. Never feel ashamed for feeling different; different is the new normal.

As you embark on the journey, you will start to be recognised for it; people will recognise you for who you really are. Most importantly, you will start to recognise yourself and you will rarely be ruled by shyness again. You’ll develop the awareness that you’ve had Quiet Confidence from the beginning. No more hiding, no more fear, just you and Quiet Confidence like two long lost friends, reunited at last.

Shyness is a safety mechanism to save you from the fear of being wrong, and the ridicule that comes along with it. As human beings, we crave love, acceptance, and belonging. As part of this, we fear the opposite: shame and ridicule. If we lack confidence in ourselves, we constantly fear this—and seek external validation.

When you’ve had a life of overthinking, you have the same reaction time and time again. Shyness becomes habitual. When you’re put in an unfamiliar situation, all you want to do is retreat and hide by default. You watch but don’t participate. You listen but don’t respond. You read, but rarely comment. You take a photo, but you rarely post. You write, but you rarely publish. All of this is because your overthinking mind cannot stop thinking about how you will be perceived by the outside world.

The adult I am today has learned that forgetting childhood was not the answer; making peace with it is. The person I am today doesn’t want to fast forward any part of life. On the contrary, I want to revel in it.

The quiet ones, the introverts, are uniquely gifted. We have tremendous patience and empathy. We don’t need to say much, yet we’re able to build deep connections and rapport with those around us. The act of displaying Quiet Confidence is much easier to cultivate than we think. It’s built-in, a bundled accessory, we simply have to activate it!